Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
