Me. At least after what I've been through.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
