i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
