i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
