just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
