i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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