im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
