Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
