I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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