real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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