I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
