Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
