I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
