you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
