What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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