I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
