she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize