sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
