Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
