That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
