Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
