ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
