Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
