I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
