I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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