I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
