I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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