the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
