Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
