I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
