So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
