I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
