Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Who wears a wallet chain?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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