She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
