You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
