haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
