i permit you to call me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
