yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
