I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
40s are totally the cure
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Pants are for mortals
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
