Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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