My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
