I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its not stalking. its research.
nutella sex= disaster
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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