I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
