We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
did i just pee glitter
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
