Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
