She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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