Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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