you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
