Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
