I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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