dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
