k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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