Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
